HOW TO RAPIDLY MOVE THROUGH THE DEATH CYCLE OF TRANSITIONJun 10, 2022
One of the hardest and best things I ever did was leave a marriage. It catapulted me into the darkest, most painful, 3 years of transition in my life. I came out the other side of that transition into an amazing relationship, a whole new career, lifestyle, and an incredibly fulfilling deep connection with my body, sexuality and being, and everything that I desired. I say that because I wrote it down in a journal and it all came into being. Exactly as I desired it.
I’ve since realised that many people get stuck for a very long time, or even entirely, in a transition phase, in the bardo. Not coming out and into being completely fulfilled relationally, sexually, career, and lifestyle. I want to share with you what I’ve learnt about how to move through the transition phase and into your new you.
In Tibetan Buddhism the bardo is the transitional state between death and rebirth. It refers to the liminal state of the soul between one life ending and a new beginning. Death and rebirth is a natural part of life. We see it everywhere in nature. We feel the cycles of seasons and the moon in our bodies. In one human lifetime we can move through many of these death-life-death cycles. Some are bigger than others. Often we have much resistance to them! Holding on until we are catapulted into a point of no return.
Sometimes it is literal death that we almost meet. Or there are parts of us, our ego, our identity, the way we live, or aspects of our lives that must die in order for us to have a new life and to feel that we have been born anew.
Looking back I can see the things that I did that sped everything up for me.
This first point is absolutely key. You must apply discipline and devotion to your inner transformation. Inner transformation leads to outer results. When I first started the process of separation and divorce I was an emotional, ungrounded, mess. I had begun regular yoga classes and a little bit of meditation but I stepped up the devotion to my practice. I gave myself a 6 week daily yoga challenge. Every morning at 6am I did a full Ashtanga 1.5 hour practice. That led to me taking my yoga mat with me everywhere, even on work trips. What began with willpower led to a deep love of the practice with the physical power it gave me and reconnection to my spiritual self. It became who I was, not just a thing that I did.
Even though I was feeling totally lost. Groundless. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I realised I no longer knew what I wanted to do with my life and it was hell, I carried on with my daily practice. One part of me was desperately searching for answers and a sense of the ground again. Not noticing that another part of me was doing exactly what was needed to move through this death cycle and into new life.
I was attending many transformational workshops. My personal choice was with Tantra, sacred sexuality, meditation and my inner feminine being. In each experience I was given practices to do as intensives; 21-day, 10-day, 30-day etc. I would get cracked open and then integrate this newness into my being. Through doing these I realised that through 15 minutes a day, every day, I could bring about huge transformations in my being. I began to feel like a totally different person. I got really good at applying myself to daily practices.
I formed a whole new level of love for me and devotion to my life force over all else through these practices. My new level of life force, Eros and joy felt so fucken amazing, I was incredibly alive! Before I was scared of being alone forever and was willing to settle in order to not have that. Then I became someone who was willing to risk being alone forever rather than sacrifice my life force. This devotion to my inner being is what changed everything! The feeling of death that came with carrying on as I was was intolerable. Everything I choose needed to match with this new me.
If you are feeling lost right now, life is not yet how you want to be, you may very well be in a transition phase. If you want to shift from who you are now, how you are living, working, loving or being into who you wish to be, and into a life beyond your wildest dreams ask yourself these next questions:
What practice do I have right now that deeply grounds me and connects me with my inner being and the frequency of what I want to emanate? - If you don’t have one, is there a teacher or practice that you have been drawn towards and not taken action on?
Make it a priority to identify your daily actions and do them every fucken day. Do it as a sprint - 10 days, 21 days. Whatever your mind can manage to commit to. This will get you out of repeating the same situations again and again and into a whole new trajectory for your life. Make it really easy. Make it simple. Get support and accountability.
In order to have the future you desire, your body and being has to stop living in the past. You become the future you through radical small steps. These small steps will lead to a life beyond your wildest dreams.
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